Who wants sex more?

APA - Who Wants More Sex?

Or… who wants more sex?

Everyone knows that men want sex MORE than women. That men have a higher level of sexual desire, right?  and yet…

REDBOOK & author Michele Weiner Davis teamed up to ask women about their husband’s sexual desire.  Here’s what they learned…

60% of the more than 1000 women we surveyed said that they were as interested in sex as their husbands — or even more so.

How often you have sex is determined by how often the lower-desire partner wants it — whether that’s the man or the woman.

Although 95% of higher-desire women are either somewhat bothered by the desire gap or consider it to be a serious problem, 56% believe that their husbands aren’t bothered by it at all.

According to their wives, men’s low sexual desire is caused by erectile dysfunction only 11% of the time. The most common causes are personal issues, such as depression, fatigue, and stress.

This suggests… that not only do women sometimes have a higher drive for sex, but that when men are struggling to keep things up,  couples need to explore the larger picture (depression, fatigue, a loss of passion, living fragmented lives, poor communication, etc.), and not simply look for the latest “sex secret” that will put things right. 

If your lover seems to be a bit distant, and low on the sexual passion scale, consider how you might – starting today – invite them into some deeper conversation.

“An honest answer, is like a kiss on the lips.”  –  King Solomon, circa 1000 B.C.

Click here for some thoughts on how couples so often “slowly drift apart” with a “creeping separateness,” with some practical ideas on how we might begin to get our own “private affair” back.

4 Responses to “Who wants sex more?”

  1. jane says:

    Fatigue INDEED! It’s the killer.
    (So maybe we need to … buy some lottery tickets?)
    hmmmmm … how can i/he/we decrease the fatigue? …some homework for the holidays.

    Thanks TS!

  2. Renee says:

    Tis true! Finally someone acknowledges that it isn’t alway the man who wants it more, thus breaking the age old sterotype. Depression plays a large role in that in our marriage, and sex is only a small part of what is affected by depression. But love carries on!

  3. tb says:

    Depression for sure can hurt the energy, confidence and inclination to HAVE sex. Does the sex (when it does happen) help the depression?

  4. Mr. Guy says:

    ‘…The most common causes are personal issues, such as depression, fatigue, and stress.’

    What about physical attraction? Can be a major factor even in marriage (I would think!) Babies, extra weight, and so on… not the woman you married once upon a time… right?


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