Explicit conversation. The ache to know, and to be known…
“Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is conversation.” – Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900
Sexual words convey images, ideas and fantastic possibilities. These hopes and promises are everywhere; the “sex and relationships” tab on your home page, the clever and not so subtle Cialis ad, the breasty girl on this months Cosmo, and of course, filling our evening television. Sure, “sex sells,” but is our most intimate relationship as candid, revealing, suggestive and erotically enticing as the ads we blankly stare at on the bus to work?
We can feast voyeuristically on sexual possibility all around us throughout our day, with all the romance and intimacy this conjures up, but go home to “I thought you were going to pick up milk!” Sigh. Advertising is the artfulness of possibility, but perhaps the seduction and romance in our lives is usually stopping there.
In our media saturated lives, is it more likely we will watch others (actors, perfectly coifed and scripted) in direct, naked and sometimes delicious conversation, rather than enjoying this pleasing repartee ourselves?
Think about our favourite programs. We make sure to catch them and love to again enjoy the fiesty argument and persuasion, the secrets revealed, plans and passions, risking so much! But how rich is our own conversational world?
“Sweetheart… the battery in the remote’s going…”
A friend of mine mentioned a few days ago that he loves the last few seconds, the thoughtful postlude at the end of his favourite program. “You know… where they always sit in their office and talk for just a minute… so powerful… I love that…”
Are we enjoying powerful conversation with our partner these days? Too busy? Too tired. Too hurt? Too lost? Too jaded? Maybe just used to the status quo?
Three thousand years ago King Solomon wrote, that… “An honest answer (translated as “straight talk”) is like a kiss on the lips!” Honest words. A thing of simple, sloppy and unabashed intimacy. Like a kiss!
For many of us this started with our current partner, perhaps many years ago, with a simple “…I really like you!”
Ah… but how far have we come since then? “Sweetheart… I think this battery is dead…”
What might some riskier and more honest dialogue look like your relationship today?
From our “Sex, Life & Love” quotes post…
“What a woman says to her ardent lover should be written in the wind and running water. “– Gaius Valerius Catullus – (84 BC – 54 BC)
“I lose my respect for the man who can make the mystery of sex the subject of a coarse jest, yet when you speak earnestly and seriously on the subject, is silent.” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
“The first duty of love is to listen.” – Paul Tillich – (1886-1965)
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips!” – King Solomon – Proverbs 24:26 – (1011 B.C. -932 B.C.)
“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley – (1792-1822)
“Laughter is the lightning rod of play, the eroticism of conversation.” — Eva Hoffman – (born 1945)
Think today how you might venture into deeper waters with your partner. For sure, most of us have developed “no-fly” zones that may be difficult to dive into, but we can easily unwrap some things we can agree on; old memories.
Perhaps start with… “remember the time we…” And then begin wandering down into some old and sweet territory, memories of when we really did connect deeply, sexually, emotionally, happily. Like enjoying old holiday photographs, we might be stimulated a bit to say, “let’s go there again!”