Kiss, Don’t Tell!

In our recent post “Show Me!we noted that at times words get in the way of good loving and peaceful and happy relationship.  “Don’t tell me that you’re loving me! Show me!”

Last year, a wedding planning website asked 3,000 adults who were married for 10 years or longer what they believed to be the important components of a long-lived romantic relationship.

From a March 2009 CBC News story on the report (“Poll says thrice weekly sex saves marriages,”) . . .

“Having sex three times a week and snuggling on the couch three times a day are among the keys to a perfect marriage, according to a U.K. survey released Wednesday.

The respondents said, to pull off a long marriage, couples have to work to keep the romance in their relationships alive.

According to the survey, “work” in this world constituted of:

* Having sex three times a week;

* Kissing four times a day;

* Cuddling thrice on a daily basis;

* Sharing two hobbies, and;

* Holding two romantic dinners a month.

‘After the wedding hype is over, the study shows how important it is to keep the magic alive with kisses, cuddles and romantic nights out,’ said Carol Richardson, a spokesperson for Confetti, which held the poll to mark its 10th year in business.”


Same old?

Many wrote in response to this news piece, describing theirsexless marriages,” some saying that “sex every three months” (not three times a week) was what they were enjoying. “Snuggling on the couch” three times a day? Really? Do these folk work? Have children? Keep house? Sleep?

Nevertheless, the basics (oh I know, we’ve heard this over and over) are true and good for love. Like basic exercises of any sort. Nike! Just do it!

Have sex, kiss, cuddle here and there (anywhere really),  share some simple life experiences (as opposed to living frantic, distracted and fragmented separate lives), and go out for dinner or a coffee.

Not rocket science, but these simple actions do seem to encourage peaceful relationship and sometimes happy sexual exploration and celebration. Could do worse.

We don’t necessarily need to continually struggle for deeper understanding and connection. “K.I.S.S” (Keep it simple & sexy).

If you told your spouse you were taking a break from other approaches to improving your marriage (too tired and confused, etc.), and that you were simply going to do the above list for the next two months…  I suspect this offer would be met with some quiet enthusiasm, if not also perhaps some doubt. “Yeh, sure… then SHOW ME!”

So… pull back a bit perhaps, and plan your own simple attack.

For starters, if you’re not too far from your beloved right now, then leave the computer for a moment, find and kiss them! See what happens! A very practical dare.  Live dangerously!

Well? How did it go?

And if you seriously took up this simple challenge for a month or two… not doing much else relationship-wise… I wonder how that would go?

Carpe diem! (again).

Seize the moment for sure… and perhaps each other.



And as it IS Monday today; you have until mid-late afternoon to consider throwing this challenge at your spouse! Just cut and paste the sweet invitation into this rather pleasing email. And let the games begin!

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