Ask me!

Recall the exciting energy and the sometimes breathless and heart-pounding repartee of your first conversations with your spouse!

Is it the same for you folk today?  This afternoon?  This evening?  No?  What’s happened?  (creeping separateness?)

You do remember don’t you? The excitement of feeling so much possibility and energy and connection? Discovering, uncovering, revealing, sometime surprising, risking vulnerability and reveling in new-found mutual attraction.  And huge sexual energy and pressure!   It’s still there, right?  No?

In our recent Inquiring Minds post we wrote about Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Adultery,” in which he suggested that couples can and should consider experimenting with the illicit excitement of an affair (emotional, intellectual, sexual) but within the context of their marriage; with their own spouse!  Whether you think the sentiment of this provocative language (“adultery”) is helpful or not, his invitation toward much greater risk-taking and extravagance in marriage sounds fabulous!

Shumley writes, “You and your spouse must look to the principles of adultery – forbiddenness, danger, excitement, tension, and voyeurism – to achieve the outer limits of erotic excitement, passion, and pleasure in your own marriage.”

Where to begin?

“A Private Affair” was designed with these erotic ideals in mind. If you have the game you can grab a handful of cards right now and dive into the kind of risque dialogue you once loved!  The game is easy to start and simple to play!

We know that very intentional and compelling questions quickly take us places we seldom go in casual conversation.

The 500 APA cards were carefully developed with this in mind.

Similarly, in the now well-known Firestarter Sessions, Danielle Laporte poses great questions which I would also encourage you to try out!  While the APA questions and suggestions are directed toward the intimate, relational and sexual, these questions are part of Danielle’s program developed to excite business success for entrepreneurs of every kind.

These are excellent questions for anyone to explore. I encourage you to print these off to try with your partner!

What are you intensely interested in?

What could you talk about late into the night with like-minded people, or to an audience of rapt listeners hanging on your every word?

What activities make you feel really useful, alive and strong?

When do you feel like a rockstar, a gifted contributor, a very cool and purposeful human being?

In terms of the things you do, when do you feel most like yourself?

Great questions! Try one or two of these and see if they don’t get some juices flowing!

Are you happy with how much time you spend talking together as a couple?

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