Show me!

When the very frustrated Professor Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison) pleads with Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn) to tell him what else she can possible want in life, or in a relationship… Eliza sighs “…just a little bit of kindness!”

Released in December 1964, “My Fair Lady” was a smash hit, garnering no less than eight Academy Awards. You will be mistaken if you think this to be a cutsie and light-weight musical; the performances by Hepburn, Harrison and Stanley Holloway are brilliant, the repartee is extremely quick and witty, and the confrontational and feisty growing love affair between Eliza and Henry is pure charm. It is a classic for good reason, and well worth watching.

Higgins is a delightfully erudite but egocentric bachelor who cries out, “Oh why can’t a women be more like a man? ”  He then outlines all the advantages this would bring, much to the frustration of Eliza who asks for only a little affection, a little kindness, perhaps an embrace. Higgins is a professor of phonetics, who instead reasons non-stop with his self-absorbed and never-ending explanations (words!).

We’ll be posting our MSLT (more sex less talking) post soon, which is similar in spirit to the “Show Me!” song Eliza sings toward the end of the movie.

While we believe many couples simply aren’t enjoying the risque naked and revealing conversations that the APA game brings (over a coffee, a quiet dinner or an evening walk), and the affection and heat this stirs, we do feel that sometimes we need to shut up and put out. Yep! In kindness, in interest, in actions simple and grand, and sometimes (MSLT) with sex! There’s a bracing simplicity with this that simply can’t be beat! Healing, restorative, clarifying, and refreshing.

Eliza says it so well in her “Show Me” song…

Words! Words! I’m so sick of words!

I get words all day through;

First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?

Don’t talk of stars burning above; If you’re in love,

Show me!

Tell me no dreams Filled with desire. If you’re on fire,

Show me

Here we are together in the middle of the night!

Don’t talk of spring! Just hold me tight!

Anyone who’s ever been in love’ll tell you that

This is no time for a chat! Haven’t your lips

Longed for my touch? Don’t say how much,

Show me! Show me!

Don’t talk of love lasting through time.

Make me no undying vow.  Show me now!

Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme!

Don’t waste my time, Show me!

Don’t talk of June, Don’t talk of fall!

Don’t talk at all! Show me!

Never do I ever want to hear another word.

There isn’t one I haven’t heard.

Here we are together in what ought to be a dream;

Say one more word and I’ll scream!

Haven’t your arms Hungered for mine?

Please don’t ‘expl’ine,’  Show me! Show me!

Don’t wait until wrinkles and lines

Pop out all over my brow,

Show me now!

What a fabulous bit of wisdom!

I can’t help but think of the cards we might give our beloved on a birthday or anniversary with words of affection and promise and gratefulness. Eliza however has had it with that. “Forget your words!” she screams, “Show Me!”

Think about your spouse right now. Where are they? What are they doing? Have we mostly said things to each other today (reasoned, perhaps argued, certainly discussed “plans“), or have we enjoyed something a bit more along the lines of what Eliza is crying out for?

If you’re in love, if you’re on fire, if you’re filled with desire, show me!

Don’t waste my time, don’t talk at all! …just show me!

Haven’t your arms hungered for mine? Please don’t explain… just show me!

Think of how you might surprise and bless your beloved today with some very tangible and passionate action. Enjoy the fire this brings, and… you can of course, always talk about it later if you really want to.

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero“Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future”

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3 Responses to “Show me!”

  1. Julie Sibert says:

    Great post! I think this is true in many marriages…people recognize that their intimacy is minimal or non-existent, yet they won’t take even baby steps toward some ACTION. There are no magical formulas…if a couple wants intimacy to look healthier and more relevant in their relationship, they need to change unhealthy patterns. Sure, that takes effort (in some marriages with a long history of pain and indifference, it is going to take A LOT of effort). But the alternative — a continued pattern of no sex or less-than-fulfilling sex — isn’t a good option either. I still at times am in awe of the number of marriages that are void of great vulnerable sex. Thanks for the post!

  2. Susan says:

    Some really good thoughts here – and thanks Julie for yours. There is time to talk and a time to be quiet and “show” love instead. We thrive on the combination.

    Susan

  3. TS says:

    Thanks for your comments Julie, and for your reminder Susan that it is best when it’s a combination of words, kind actions (the “Show Me!”) and the sometimes passionate physical encounter.

    Your last sentence really (and sadly) hits the nail on the head, “…I still at times am in awe of the number of marriages that are void of great vulnerable sex.”

    It seems that this has become the norm for so many who aren’t quite enjoying the rich tumble of “great conversation sparking great sex; great sex sparking great conversation.” The delicious delight of knowing and being known. Of loving and being loved. Of enjoying the “great vulnerability” of a fabulous sexual celebration.

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