What is this?

New to this site? What is this game all about?

Most couples do want to connect happily, passionately, regularly and peacefully in every part of their relationship, from easy cooperation through the details of their days, to passionate love-making, sometimes gentle and sometimes wild and edgy! Beats most things on our “to do” list and certainly injects sweet pizazz into any weekday evening.

Any  morning at work is sweeter with the lingering recollection and fragrance of great love-making the night before; any long afternoon at the office can be suffered if we know that we will soon be welcomed back into the healing and rejuvenating friendship of marriage, with all the liveliness and novelty this can bring. Home sweet home, and all that.

But… in our distracted, pressured and overextended lives, sadly, this experience is far too rare. You can see this in the faces of those stuck in traffic with you at the end of the day.

The game?

What we need is not more information about…

“communication” (yawn)

“problem solving” (roll eyes)

“how to have great sex” (little new material there)

“parenting” (they haven’t met your kids)

or “finances” (too late), etc…

Instead, we need a very simple way to tumble back into the way we once were; deeply enjoying each other (not just “getting along better!” – boring), drinking each other in, risking new intimacies, trying new things with each other, doing new things to each other, discovering secrets, making new plans, and promising things to each other for the days and weeks to come.

(Notice; not problem-solving, not planning who gets the car on Saturday, not arguing, not living separate lives under the same partially-paid-for roof).

A Private Affair: The Erotic Game of Secrets, Plans & Promises for Couples

By the time we organize getting together with our beloved, our energy, creativity and patience may be woefully wanting. “Wanna talk?” Sigh… not really. “Wanna fool around?” Too tired? Yeah… me too… Besides, we may just feel too far apart.  That familiar coolness and feeling of separateness.

Or… you could grab a handful of cards from your “black box” and settle back into a comfy chair, or go for a very slow walk around the block. Pick a card, and “the game’s afoot!” It’s that easy… and it works. (We play ours mostly over coffee at our favourite cafe; played it recently while on a driving trip, and sometimes at our favourite – Inferno’s! –  bistro).

In a moment our lives shift away from the “tyranny of the urgent,” back into what was once so important, what we know is still important, and what we know we really hunger for. The delicious and revealing conversation is once more “afoot,” as we pick up the thread of our loving, adding soothing warmth and heat.

It’s that simple. Carpe diem! …and/or the evening!


Are you happy with how much time you spend talking together as a couple?

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