Someone is waiting for you to come to them, and to love them. Probably right now.
In our “Love will teach you what to do” post, I quoted Carlo Carretto who said, “Don’t worry about what you ought to do. Worry about loving!” Carretto argues that extravagant and reckless loving not only brings healing to our marriage relationships, but to everything else as well.
“Live love, let love invade you. It will never fail to teach you what you must do.” – Carlo Carretto (1910 – 1988)
Not only should this be the modus operandi of our next actions (loving, not problem-solving or negotiationing), but it seems there may be some urgency here. That in fact, our beloved is waiting for us. “Our move” so to speak.
Are we too shy to ask for love?
We’ve seen some interesting results from our own APA SexPolls. (If you haven’t completed these yet – 18 questions – please add your data to the weight of this growing evidence). – click here
I know that these questions are mostly focusing on sex, but look at the theme that comes through loud and clear.
24% report that they have sex 2-3 times a week, but 50% say they wish they were having sex 2-3 times a week.
40% report that they’d like to be making love 4-7 times a week!
66% report that they wish there was more talking together in their relationship.
80% report that they were having less sex than they wanted.
84% reported that they preferred being seduced (rather than taking the lead themselves).
We want more, and we want you to come to us, to ask us for this, to make it happen. We’re waiting for you to start something!
Think about your husband or wife right now. Where are they? What are they doing? What might they say if you were to go find them, or call them up if you’re apart, with a simple, “Hello sweetheart, are you waiting for me to love you more? Do you want to have more sex? Would you like me to pursue you more, in and out of bed? Do you want us to love each other more? Can I just give you a hug and kiss right now?” (All of this is legal in most provinces and states)
I think you might at first get a bit of a blank stare, or a “are you serious? …really?” But I bet you wouldn’t get “No, I need to work on our finances; I need to empty the dishwasher; the back door’s a mess.”
Time is running out. Today is all we really have.
Some readers will recall that mournful hit by Jim Croce, “If I could save time in a Bottle” (1971) “…The first thing that I’d like to do, is to save every day till eternity passes away, just to spend them with you… but there never seems to be enough time, to do the things you want to do…”
And… we can’t save time up. There is some urgency here. But we can do something about it!
It’s just a simple inquiry.
Ask your partner right now if possible (texting or email is ok if they’re not with you at the moment), “Would you like for me to take more initiative in loving you? What do you think of these stats? (our poll numbers above). Do you think is sorta true for us? Do you want more?”
Regardless, I wouldn’t wait. And I’d encourage you to risk offering more, taking initiative, finding ways to make the loving in the relationship really happen!
And when in doubt about what to DO… remember Carretto’s wonderful suggestion; Don’t worry about what you ought to do. Worry about loving!”