Departures & Arrivals

Are you flying anywhere today? Aviation experts suggest that the take-off and landing are the most important, vulnerable and potentially dangerous part of the journey.

Consider also how you “take off” and “land” every day in your relationship. The leaving each other each morning, “off to work, etc.” as the take-off; the “I’m home” being the landing.

What are these like for you? How do these brief moments of transition affect your relationship? What habits and patterns make up these departures and arrivals?

We can push the analogy a bit more.


What are things like in your departure lounge each morning? And at the end of your work day, how pleasant are things at the arrival gate? What might these times look like if you and your beloved were filmed in these quick moments each day? Mayhem or something warm, even sexy? A daily crisis and hit, or something kind and suggestive? Both times can either be a strain on your relationship, or a great boost; even foreplay.

We can either help each other in these vulnerable moments, graciously and unselfishly, or we can lean hard and sometimes angrily into each other as we fuss about our checklists and wrench ourselves into the sky each morning, and back onto the tarmac each night. You may have even noticed a reluctance to offer much to each other in these moments as we indulge so easily in our own weariness and frustration.

Consider the impact that these daily goodbyes and hellos have on your relationship. What happens in the 10-30 seconds before lift-off and the same few seconds on arrival, sets the tone for the day, and the spirit of things for the evening. A great take-off and landing, or a rough take-off and landing can affect a relationship for days.

If you’re a seasoned traveler, enjoying smooth take-offs and landings, then please share an idea or two with us. What do you do to make these parts of your day great?

If you’re unhappy with too much turbulence in your daily flying, suggest something you think would really improve this part of your day with your beloved. What would you like to start doing more?

12 Responses to “Departures & Arrivals”

  1. Wilbur says:

    Take time to kiss, with passion and with tenderness. Is there really anything else in the day which will be more important than continuing to build the relationship with your spouse. Say you love them, and consider how it is truly the best news you will hear all day. Is there any sweeter or more powerful word than your spouse saying I love you. Check and see if there is some need which you might be able to meet, some small errand which you may be able to run for them. (Of course this is easier or harder depending on your job. Speak a word of encouragement about how they do their job as the day begins and when you check in as it ends.

  2. Corinna says:

    These are important times for us, at least in theory. We have talked about this and never leave the house without an “I love you” and usually a kiss. If it’s not there, I notice. (And I hope he does too!) Even on the phone we always say “love you” at the end…I remember one time talking on the phone and being very stressed about something, and then Julio said “goodbye” and I retorted with “Don’t we even say ‘I love you’ anymore?!?” My poor bewildered husband didn’t quite know what to say, as, in fact, he had!! When Julio comes home I’m usually just getting supper together, but I’m sure to send as many kids as possible to the door for him, to welcome him with hugs and kisses. He loves that, especially when they come running, and he knows he’s been missed! Once his jacket is off he usually wanders into the kitchen and we have our moment together. I am very conscious not to project stress or frustration at that moment…I want him home, and want this to be a warm place for him to come home to and want to be, so I take my job as part of the welcome committee seriously. This is a good reminder to keep at it, and that it really does make a difference. Thanks for the post!

  3. Terri says:

    With 5 going on 6 kids in the house, it seems there is always turbulence. When we got married, we determined to always leave with a kiss and “I love you,” even if the moments before parting were less than wonderful. We also always make the time (no matter how chaotic the house is) to greet the “homecomer” properly with an unrushed hug and kiss. Those times have become brief moments of peace that keep us connected in spite of everything going on around us.

  4. Jill says:

    Usually my husband gets up before I do, but he sets his alarm clock 15 minutes early, so when it goes off we have 15 min to just cuddle before the day begins. I really appreciate those moments. It helps start the day out right.

  5. Edgar K. says:

    Wow! I’m really jealous of all those people that say they greet and say goodbye to each other with love and passion. All that’s there for me is, “Gotta go I’m late.” If we kiss at all, it’s a brief peck on the lips that’s barely felt. I do feel unappreciated and unloved. As much as I try to figure out how I could do things better, it all comes to nothing. I’m sorry for the “wet blanket” but that’s my life.

  6. Robyn says:

    We both work from home, so our departures and landings aren’t regular. We often note that our favourite time of the day is when we cuddle in bed at the end of the day and marvel that we don’t go to bed as soon as we hear the last “good-night Mom” and “good-night Dad”. Plus, the earlier we go to bed, the more likely and the more fun the “amorous activities” (to quote Dr Sheldon Coooper) are likely to be. 😉

  7. Hospitality in marriage seems to be a lost art in many homes. Its common to treat guests with extra special attention, but why not our spouse! Courteous gestures can go a long way.
    I will add one suggestion that can bring flavour to the valentines experience: look her/him in the eyes when sharing. Allow your eyes to do the talking. They are the gateway to ones soul.

  8. Anna says:

    When we were dating, my husband and I developed a code to say “I love you” when we were in public – a simple finger rub of the nose while looking at the other person. We have kept this up in marriage. Whenever one of us leaves, the other goes to the window and looks out and gives a gentle rub of our nose to say one last “I love you”. It’s simple…yet so meaningful. Whether I am the the one leaving or staying, it always makes a goodbye a happy one – even if the circumstances prior were less than ideal.

  9. Leanne says:

    As a stewardess shows seating assignments, we start the day with how did you sleep? then we buckle up and check each other’s schedules for the day. as the co pilot announces take off we spend time reading a daily devotion together and pray together. we then fly off with a kiss and i love you. For landing we cook dinner together. We review the day’s events together while cooking. We read another devotion together before bed. as always say I love you before going to sleep.

  10. Alan says:

    I know my wife places great value on these very gestures – a hug or kiss; wishing her a good day; acknowledging the effort she put into supper or a clean house, b/c she does it for me. It usually lights her up.

    Often, as we deal with real life issues, I believe the constant of simple rituals like this can be a powerful declaration of grace and unconditional love to our partner – “we’re okay!” — regardless what we might be facing lately.

  11. I like the electronic age we are in… sending a brief text to her during the day makes us both feel connected, making the ‘arrival’ all the more anticipated.

    Speaking of electronics, there is an app called velvet steel that is an electronic communication coach.

  12. Daren says:

    I find that the hello-goodbye kiss can become a bit of a facial handshake if you’re not careful. Odd as it may seem, sometimes kissing my wife on the forehead shows more affection than on the lips.

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